Sunday, 19 August 2012

Arrival Indian Style

Indians who have to be the worst air travelers In The World. Their reputation precedes, if you are flying in from SE Asis you will find that the Asians find Indians very difficult to deal with and have their own way of dealing with them.
First they won’t let you wait in the departure lounge, preferring instead for us to clog up the hallway with the usual five grannies in a wheel chair, the screaming brats and the utter confusion that always accompanies Indians on the move. Invariably Indians travel en masse with a minimum of three generations. We carry too much luggage and tend to treat the airline staff like servants and the plane like an Indian railway carriage.
 We rush and push and queue jump to get on the plane as if we hadn’t already been assigned seats and as if we didn’t know that there was absolutely no advantage to that. Once on board there is the inevitable seat issue and we will merrily rearrange the whole seating plan of the plane until told otherwise by the airline staff.

Departure is delayed so that the stash of overweight cabin luggage they had confiscated is loaded into the hold. One woman blames the cabin crew for her crying baby, everything baby needed was in the confiscated bag she announces to one and all. Seems we are all going to pay the price of her unhappy baby as she is content to let it scream like a beggar brat at a car window just to make her point. 
During the flight the passengers press the button with outrageous abandon demanding first class service for their economy seats.
The best part of the whole flight is when the plane touches down and its not the view from the window that makes you know you are in India but the sound of five hundred seat belts clicking open simultaneously 
and the sight of some cheeky buggars leaping up to start unloading the overhead lockers before the plane has even braked accompanied by an orchestra of cell phone start ups. Everyone is lined up ready to get off the plane before the sky bridge is even attached. The air stewards are nowhere to be seen during this process, having been exhausted by the previous demands of all and sundry they are hiding out the back somewhere and leave it to the first class staff to offer us a polished smile of thanks as we depart stumbling, tripping and pushing each other out of our way.

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